Tales of an NYC Social Worker: Opening Hearts and Minds, One Child at a Time

Mixing up the Groups

2012-02-02T17:20:00.001-05:00

We find that our small group programs are beneficial becausewe are able to address student issues in a larger group without an individualfeeling singled out. Sometimes our students learn more from each other than wecan teach them. We figured if one group is beneficial to our students, why nottwo?

We’ve created opportunities for our small groups tointerconnect. Right now our NewspaperGroup is interviewing our Bookstore group members. The Newspaper students learninterviewing skills and continue to expand their newspaper content, while theBookstore students get to speak (brag) about their entrepreneurial success. Additionally, both groups are exposed to newstudents they might not have known, along with new personalities, challengesand opportunities to continue developing the social and emotional skillsthey’ve learned from Partnership with Children. It’s a win-win for all.

The Newspaper Group distributes their finished newsletterschool wide every other month. I’mexcited to see what they’ve learned from partnering with their new friends inthe Bookstore group and hope I can share some of the finished articles in a fewweeks!

A Few Bumps in the Road

2012-01-27T17:06:00.000-05:00

The past few weeks have been a bit rocky for Ryan, sincereturning from Winter Break. Ryan’s behavior was excellent through the end ofDecember but he suddenly started acting out again when he returned this month. Wealways expect a slight change in student behavior after a long break, butRyan’s behavior seemed a bit extreme. After speaking with his family, welearned that his mother returned, out of the blue, after abandoning the familyfour years earlier. Ryan currently lives with his father and grandmother, andafter not seeing his mother in a number of years, the event was very upsetting.

It’s extremely frustrating to watch a student make so muchprogress in our program and then experience a major setback because ofsomething out of our hands. Yet this is what we do—prepare students by givingthem skills to cope with what’s going on outside of school so they can focusand learn in school. Ryan’s been working with us for several years now, but atthe end of last year we really began to notice progress. In the first half ofthis school year, he grew in leaps and bounds, but to have such a traumaticincident occur right in the middle his difficult.

In addition to Ryan’s group participation, we’ve focusedmore on individual counseling to help understand how he feels about thesituation and how we can help. Of course, it would be easier to cope with sucha challenge if Ryan was more evolved in his emotional skills, but we continueto do the best we can.

Gaining Trust

2012-01-13T10:45:00.001-05:00

Sometimes one of the hardest things is to get through to astudent. Often if they are living in a tough home situation, they try to closethemselves off from other people, even those trying to help. Heather’s beenworking with us for 2 years now. After we started working with Heather, welearned that while she lived with both her parents and her four siblings, thehouse was a little unruly. Her parents lacked parenting skills and the home wasunstructured. On top of that her father was abusive to Heather and hersiblings.

In the beginning she behaved very strangely. She would walkaround the classroom with her hoodie over her head, be disruptive in class andmake strange noises for no reason. She is an extremely shy girl and we workedwith her individually last year to build her self-esteem and confidence. Thisyear we moved her to the Girls’ Group because we thought interaction with herpeers might be helpful. It is a constant struggle with Heather. Sometimes she’sgreat but other times she will act out in class just so I or one of the othersocial workers will pull her out of class.

It’s clear that we’ve gained a level of trust from Heather,because she will seek Partnership with Children social workers out to comforther. However, it’s important that she learns to trust other people. I’venoticed some improvement this year. She’s speaking up more in her group andmaking the effort to interact. Hopefully this is the first step of many to buildingher confidence and social abilities.

A New Year

2012-01-05T10:09:00.000-05:00

It’s always difficult coming back from a break. The holidayseason is especially difficult because it can be a very emotional time for thestudent and family. So many of our children live in extreme poverty andsometimes a warm bed or hot meal are a challenge for these families, let aloneproviding Christmas presents. We try to help as many families as possiblethrough our Gift Drive, but even with presents under the tree, we can’t alwaysfix the challenges in their home lives.

At Partnership with Children we try to give students theskills they need to cope with the challenges they face in their lives outsideof school, but for some students it takes a few steps backwards to moveforward. Sometimes, when starting out in the program they falter a bit whenleft to their own devices at home. And if a child felt ignored over theholiday, he may start acting out again in class or bullying other students,just to gain attention.

I’m not really sure what the rest of this week will bring. The studentshave been home for over a week now, without Partnership’s help. Some studentsmight be just as I left them but others might have regressed a bit.

I always hope for the best, but know after a break like thisit can get challenging. In this line of work, every day is a new day and I justneed to keep pushing ahead.

Tis the Season of Giving

2011-12-23T11:26:00.000-05:00

I love working for Partnership with Children—especiallyduring the holidays. Each year we hostan Annual Holiday Gift Drive and Wrap-A-Thon, and this year is nodifferent! Starting in early November,we reach out to dozens of companies to participate in our gift drive. Then in early December, the gifts just keepon coming. This year we collected over15,000 gifts!

After the gifts arrive, all of the school’s social workers(including me!) get to “shop” Partnership’s assembled gift store. We shop for the neediest students we workwith as well as their entire families. It’s a chaotic mess, but so much fun! Partnership also hosts a 4 day Wrap-A-Thon where board members, juniorboard members and corporate volunteers come to wrap the piles and piles ofgifts! The gifts are then picked up byus and distributed just before Christmas.

It’s such a warm feeling to know that in addition to ourin-school work, we can help our families in so many other ways. For many families living in poverty, knowingwhere their next meal is coming from can be a struggle, let alone puttingpresents under the tree. Many of these families wouldn’t have anything to giveto their children during Christmas if it wasn’t for our help. We’re able to providegifts for those families in need and make their holiday season just a littlebrighter. It really is the season of giving!

Happy Holidays!

Watching Success

2011-12-16T10:44:00.001-05:00

If you see the same thing happen over and over again, youexpect the same thing to continue and it’s easy to assume that it will, ratherthan having an open mind. Sometimes it’s hard for people to accept change, evenwhen it’s positive.

Last week there was a fight in Ryan’s class. Ryan didn’tstart the fight and wasn’t even a participant, but in his efforts to get out ofthe way he jumped out of his seat quickly and caused a table to hit anotherstudent. Ryan’s teacher automatically assumed the table was thrown on purpose. Ryanwas reprimanded and sent to the principal’s office for disruptive behavior. Luckily,one of our interns was in the classroom and saw the entire incident happen. Shevouched for Ryan’s good behavior and the entire situation being an accident. Ryan’sname was cleared.

What was even more astounding was Ryan’s reaction andmaturity in the situation. He knew he did not cause the chair to fall onpurpose, yet he was still very concerned for the other student and regretfulthat she was injured. Ryan has progressed a lot, thanks to Partnership withChildren’s help. From a disruptive child who refused to engage with otherstudents, he has now gained empathy and matured and became a respectful, caringyoung man. It is breakthroughs like this that makes me love being a socialworker.

Keeping Everyone in the Loop

2011-12-09T16:33:00.001-05:00

At the beginning of the school year, I talked about ourprocess for selecting students. We workdirectly with the school administration, teachers and faculty to determine whois most in need and would benefit from our services. We introduce ourselves to the faculty andstaff through a Welcome Breakfast and make sure everyone understands Partnershipwith Children’s program and how improving student’s social, emotional andbehavioral skills can increase academic success and improve classroomproductivity.

Let me assure you, our interaction with the school’s staffdoes not stop there. We work withteachers and faculty to keep up with how students are functioning when not intheir weekly group or individual sessions. One of the things that make Partnership with Children’s program sosuccessful is that we connect EVERYONE in a student’s life.

Every month we hold a PPT (Pupil Personnel Team) meeting toevaluate our program. The PPT is a largegroup that engages a number of resources beneficial to the students. I am in the group, along with the principal, theassistant principal, two speech teachers, the after school tutoringcoordinator, a family social worker, the school’s social worker and a socialworker from an external facility (in case we determine the student or familyneeds additional counseling beyond our scope of work). Each month’s agenda consists of specificstudent cases that need to be addressed. For instance, even though Partnership is helping Jack focus more inclass, he is still struggling with math and might benefit from some after-schooltutoring. Or Megan seems to have troublein English—maybe a speech screening is in order.

Partnership with Children doesn’t just focus on theemotional well-being of the student—we focus on the WHOLE student. Sometimes there are other factors that oursocial workers might not be aware of. Inorder to best serve the student, we work with all constituents in hislife—teachers, administrators and families. By integrating ourselves into the student’s life and keeping everyone inthe loop, we’re able understand the root of behavioral issues, resolve theproblems and help the student succeed personally and academically.

Students Helping Students

2011-12-01T11:38:00.000-05:00

Our Boys Group has a great mix of students this year. Some boys in the group are shy andintroverted, while the rest are outgoing and very confident. Participants inthe Boys and Girls groups get very close and the students work hard to supporteach other. They learn important lifeskills from one another such as public speaking, confidence, when to speak andwhen not to interrupt others. Since the Boys Group is all boys, the group alsoprovides a safe space to discuss issues that only they as boys may face inschool, at home and in the community.

One of my fourth grade students, Adam, is particularlystruggling because he feels conflicted culturally. His home life is extremely challenging. He lives with his mother and siblings, buthis father has two wives and has chosen to live with the other wife rather thanhis mother. While his father is notaround all the time, he still makes a point in enforce his rigid culture. The father is seen as the dominant head ofthe household, while the mother and children are expected to be submissive andnot express their emotions. For Adam,it’s like having to be two people at once. He is expected conform to his culture at home, limiting his emotions andactions, but in school he has much more freedom and is encouraged to be moreconfident and participatory. As aresult, he bottles up all his repressed emotions from his home life and actsout in class by talking out of turn, being disruptive in class and bullyingother students.

He was placed in the Boys Group because we felt beingsurrounded by other male students might impact his behavior in a positive way. As he embraces his culture at school and howstudents are “supposed to” act, he will understand the extent and consequencesof his actions and be influenced to change.

Next week we’ll be talking about cultural differences and Isee this as a way to discuss Adam’s challenges in the group without singlinghim out. Other students might havesimilar struggles and by discussing the issues as a group it reinforcespositive change and brings the group closer together.

A Thanksgiving Feast

2011-11-21T12:18:00.001-05:00

For the second year in a row, we’reworking with our local Rotary Club to ensure our students and their familiescan enjoy a happy (and filling!) Thanksgiving. We’ve submitted 10-15 familiesto the Club. The Rotary Club will then contact the families to confirm theiraddress and other delivery details. Tomorrow, two days before Thanksgiving,members of the Rotary Club will personally deliver baskets filled with acomplete Thanksgiving Dinner!

The basket of food is uncooked, sothe families are responsible for preparing their own meals, but dinner and allthe trimmings will be there—mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy, vegetablesand of course, what would Thanksgiving be without a tasty roasting turkey!

The holidays are one of my favoritetimes of year, but they can be extremely stressful for families living inpoverty. With concerns of how they can afford food and clothes on a weeklybasis, the extra expenses of holidays only increases the stress. I love howPartnership with Children not only supports students in school, but aids theirfamilies as well, especially during the holidays. In just a few weeks we’llalso be distributing toys and gifts to Partnership with Children familiesacross all our schools through our Annual Gift Drive. Regardless of wealth,everyone should be able to enjoy the holidays. It’s a time of family andtogetherness—something that we’re able to make possible.

Getting Ready to Open the Doors!

2011-11-11T13:42:00.001-05:00

Our Bookstore Group is well on itsway. Each of the ten group members will have certain responsibilities asdescribed in their job descriptions. They’re very eager for the process tostart and become “employed”. Being able to run a school bookstore really givesthese students a sense of empowerment and it shows. The excitement was almostoverwhelming as I read each of their job descriptions. They are very engagedand express a number of questions and concerns with respect to what the jobsentail. Some of the job titles includeGeneral Manager, Sales Clerk—even AdvertisingRepresentative and Security Guard. Students then take turns rotating through the positions so they become experiencedin a number of positions.

Right now we’re working onpromotional strategies. They are beginning to learn how a business works andhow to make it succeed. For example, when I asked Ryan “What if we sell thesupplies for what I paid for them?” he responded “Oh no, we can’t do that. Wewill go out of business”.

I asked each student to write downfive strategies that would increase promotion of the bookstore. If all five strategieswere correct, they’d be rewarded with a small gift. It always amazes me how incentivescan motivate people. While some answers were far from correct, the incentiveshelped them try a little bit harder than they might normally. In the end, fourstudents got all five strategies correct. Sometimes the right answer isn’talways the goal but that they put in the effort. The group process is very effectivebecause students learn from one another and gain new strengths. Hopefully thosewho did not get all the answers will remember their classmates’ answers and beable to accurately come up with the strategies next time.

It’s been a good week all around. Mygroup is excited and can’t wait for the bookstore to open its doors. Also I’venoticed significant improvement in Ryan’s behaviors. I feel our talks the otherweek and through role model activities, he becomes more aware of his behaviorand its possible consequences. He’s been more engaged in group and betterbehaved. I think he recognizes being the good guy is more beneficial. I am soproud of Ryan—he has grown from an angry, withdrawn, shut down little boy to a calmer,more open person. As a social worker this change in him is what makes mebelieve in Partnership with Children and my work.

No Chance to Say Goodbye

2011-11-07T16:14:00.003-05:00

My heart sank when I saw the blinding “DC” next to Mary’sname when I reviewed my attendance datagrid this morning. She had been discharged, which means she and her familymoved and she will be attending another school. Unfortunately this is not uncommon at all. Working with at risk students, many live inextreme poverty and are forced to move a lot or travel between shelters. Generally the longer we work with students,the more likely they are to remain in the school. The families we work with obtain a level ofstability, while new students that come into our program might be forced tomove after just a few weeks due to housing issues or other factors.

What is difficult is the nature of how the studentsdepart. There is no forwarding informationas to where they’re moving, what school they’ll be attending or whether they’llget the support they need. Most importantly there’s no closure. With Mary, Ifelt like we could make a difference in her life. While she lacked basic social skills, she wassmart and had so much potential. Ibelieve a lot of her issues stemmed from her home situation. By providing her with tools to combat thesechallenges we could have helped her build confidence, self-esteem and focus onher education.

When a student leaves the group dynamics get disturbed aswell. It’s almost better that Mary wasdischarged early in the year. We juststarted group a few weeks ago and the students are still getting to know eachother. Had this been 3 months down theroad, it would be much harder. Our smallgroup members, especially in the Girls Group, get very close. They understand what each other is goingthrough and support each other in amazing ways. We try to maintain consistency in our groups, something that thesestudents may not be able to depend on outside school. When a student is absent or moves, the entiregroup feels it.

When a student is discharged I feel a very complex set ofemotions. I mourn the student’s absence but at the same time, this is thenature of my work. I can’t dwell on astudent who has left when there are so many other students that need help. On one hand, Mary’s discharge opens up a newslot for another student to be helped, but on the other hand I worry that Maryis okay where she is. I want to believeshe’s getting the support she needs elsewhere, but I’m just not sure.

Everyone Loves Prizes

2011-10-28T13:31:00.000-04:00

Incentives help motivate people—both adults and kids alike. AtPartnership with Children, we use A LOT of incentives to help promote positivebehavior in our students. Goodattendance is rewarded with pizza parties and notes sent home to the students’families. Getting forms and paperworkback in a timely manner is rewarded with small prizes and gift cards, and soon.

This week I started our “Road to Success” program in our BookstoreGroup. Ryan is still acting out in group,and I though rather than focusing on pointing out his poor behavior, I wouldreward all the students for good behavior. We created a bulletin board on one wall of the classroom dedicated tothe Road to Success. Each student’s nameis listed and points are awarded for good behaviors. Paying attention in group—points! Cooperatingand helping other students—more points! Pointsare recorded on the Road to Success wall so students can see their progress aswell as the progress of their classmates. It becomes a bit of a competition—who can behave better? The better a student behaves, the more pointsthey can earn.

After their bookstore “work shift” they’re then able to trade inthese points for cool prizes. Studentsgo wild over special erasers, pencil cases and bright colored notebooks. The idea is enforce positive behavior ratherthan dwelling on negative behavior. TheRoad to Success encourages all the students in the group to learn positive socialand behavior skills, which will hopefully reinforce the skills in Ryan. If everyone else getting points and prizes,he certainly doesn’t want to be left out.

A Few Steps Backwards

2011-10-21T13:00:00.001-04:00

With Barbara still out, things have been a bit hectic. We just started our classrooms “pushins” where we work with an entire class to help students master socializationskills, socurrently I’m running three small groups AND facilitating three classroom pushin programs. I wish I could sayeverything was going well with both Ryan and Mary in group, but we’reexperiencing a few setbacks.

Ryan has been acting out in group lately. He tends to gravitates towards strong willed,outspoken male figures, probably due to the lack of a strong male figure in hishousehold. In this case, Ryan hasstarted to follow the negativebehavior of another group member who is older and much bigger than he is. Specifically he inappropriately mocks otherstudents within the group and does not follow direction.

I’mtrying to make Ryan aware of his behavior through a role model technique. Twopeople will act out a skit in which one person influences the other to dosomething which has negative consequences. The goal is for Ryan to notice thepoor behavior in the skit and recognize it in his own actions. Ryan and I also speak after each groupsession about his behavior. I try to verbally encourage Ryan and praise him forhis strengths. By reinforcing hispositive actions he will slowly decrease his negative actions.

Asfor Mary, after observing her behavior through the group process it seems she mayneed individual counseling as well. Whenshe speaks her thoughts are often unclear and off topic. I have tried calling on her more often andencouraging participation so I can gain a better understanding of her socialskills. The other day, she got up tospeak to the entire group but just stood there silently with her hands wrappedaround her body and looking defensive. When I questioned her, she expressed that she wanted to leave and felt discomfortdue to the ethnic composition of the group. To address her concerns, I refocused the group to discussmulticulturalism. We openly discussedsimilarities and differences between races and ethnicities. I wanted Mary to feel more comfortable inher surroundings, but also wanted to address the topic as a group, in caseother students had similar feelings. I’mscheduled to speak with Mary’s mother to discuss Mary’s reaction and behaviorto better understand the source of her feelings.

The nature of ourwork is not linear; there are days of great success and sometimes some bumps inthe road. Ryan was doing so well at theend of last year, but seems to have gone back to some of his poorbehaviors. After working closer withMary it seems that her social issues are much deeper than I originallyanticipated. What’s important is that we’re able to see these behaviors andunderstand the source and figure out how to help.

Doing More with Less

2011-10-14T18:56:00.002-04:00

This week has been rough! We’re currently working with over 80 students through our individual andsmall group counseling alone, and we haven’t even started pushing into fullclassrooms. Normally we work with a teamof four—another social worker, two part time social work interns and me, butthis week our staff has been reduced to three. Barbara, my other social worker just went on short term medicalleave. Best case scenario she’ll be backin November, but worst case scenario?—I don’t even want to think about it. Eventhough we’re short a staff member, we will still provide 100% support for eachstudent. There is such an overwhelmingneed in this community for our services and one little hiccup in planning isn’tgoing to change anything. Our studentsNEED us, and we’re not going to let them down.

Take, for example, one of our newest third graders, Mary. I noticed Mary last year in one of our fullclass programs. She would often come toschool with lice, her clothes were tattered and her hair matted. She was awkward and had low self-esteem andas a result was frequently teased and bullied. We learned that she lived with her mother who had psychological problemsand her baby sister. Her family was oftenin and out of shelters. We tried to supportMary and her family through clothing drives, our holiday toy drive and by connectingthem with a local soup kitchen.

This year I decided to bring Mary into our Girls Group. I think she will benefit from beingsurrounded by other girls and hopefully increase her self-esteem andconfidence. Sometimes it’s easier to work with students like Mary in a groupsetting because we can generalize problems. Quite often an issue that oneperson might be facing is also a concern of the others within the group. Rather than addressing a problem Mary isfacing individually and make her feel even more awkward, we address it with theentire group. Students are engaged and learn the social skills they need butdon’t feel like there’s something specifically wrong with them individually.

I have high hopes for Mary and all of the students we’reworking with this year. Every job has challenges. There’s difficult days and easy days (well,maybe not that easy), but you push through. I can’t WAIT until Barbara gets back, but until then, I know what needsto be done—just buckle down and make sure these students are getting the bestpossible support from us.

Keeping Students on Track One Day at a Time

2011-10-07T16:11:00.000-04:00

October is when it all starts. We’ve identified which students will be ineach group and selected students that will best benefit from individualcounseling. I’m so excited that Ryan will be joining our Newspaper Group thisyear! He has been working with PwC on anindividual basis for the past three years, and I’m excited he “graduated” to asmall group setting.

While Ryan seems like a sweet smiling kid now, it took threeyears to even get close to this point. When I first met Ryan he was angry and disruptive in class. He always sat on the outskirts of hisclassroom. Even if his seat was alreadyin the corner, he would make the effort to pull it further away from his otherclassmates. He also had troublesocializing and was often accused of bullying other students.

It was difficult to engage him in counseling at first. I tried a number of therapy techniques to gethim to open up and finally was able to connect through “play therapy”. Rather than speaking to me directly, Ryanused puppets to express his emotions. Slowly his feelings came out—that he and his siblings are being raisedby his grandmother, how his mother is absent in his life and his father floatsin and out of the family and about his sister being abused by their father. I could tell that Ryan wanted to be strongand protect his family but was scared. All the anger and fear he hadbottled up caused him to isolate himself in school and lash out when he feltthreatened.

Ryan made TREMENDOUS strides over the past three years,especially at the end of last year. Iwas a little worried when his teacher started calling me at the beginning ofthe school year to say he was acting up again. As a social worker, I need to remember it’s always an up and downstruggle. We only work with the studentsa few hours a week and we can’t control what happens outside school. Three months is a long time. I’m afraid someof his bad behaviors might have resurfaced, but hopefully I can get him back ontrack soon. I just need to remember to take one day at a time.

Outside the School Doors

2011-09-29T12:46:00.000-04:00

Our students are in school 35-40 hours a week and we spend onlya couple hours with them during this time. What makes our jobs so difficult is what goes on in those hours outsideof school. We are confidence that ourkids nurtured in school, but once they leave, we’re no longer in control ofwhat happens in their lives.

One in two of our students live in extreme poverty. While some live in nearby housingdevelopments, less fortunate families frequently move between shelters. A family might start off in a nearby shelterbut get relocated to a different shelter farther away. Constant movement putsstress on the students as their commutes become long, sometimes close to twohours, and their home life is continual upheaval.

Family structures can be challenging as well. It’s very difficult for us to get a clearpicture of what the child’s living situation is like. Gang violence, domestic abuse, drugs andincarceration are extremely common. Amother might tell us that her husband is at work, but from the child we learnthat dad has been in jail for the last 6 months.

The teachers are amazing here. Many have been here for years and the lovethey have for teaching and their students is amazing. However, regardless of how engaging thelessons are or how many times a teacher drills those multiplication tables intotheir heads, students cannot be successful academically if they are tired,hungry or scared. Through our program westrive to make our school a positive family environment where students can feelsafe and know that there are adults they can go to for help in theirlives. Our goal is to give students theskills to cope with their lives outside of the school building. We work withall the people who touch our students’ lives – parents, teachers, and schooladministrators – to understand the barriers to success in our students’ livesand to find ways to address these issues.

Meeting the Needs of the School

2011-09-21T15:35:00.000-04:00

I was really looking forward to last Friday’s welcomebreakfast with the school administration, but since our interns just startedthis week (I cannot stress how excited I am to have them with us!) we thoughtit would be best to reschedule the breakfast for this Friday, when the wholeteam could be together! In the meantime, we’ve been working diligently todetermine which students we should service this year. With the help of the schoolprincipal, guidance counselor and teachers we were able to compile a list ofnew students who are in need. The Partnership team (another social worker, ourtwo FANTASTIC interns, and me!) also took time to review the files of our paststudents to see if any of them are still in need of continued services. Afterhours and days of discussion, we came up with a list of 21 high-need individualcounseling students and 60 students to be split among our 4 small groupprograms. Later this year will get a better idea of which classrooms wouldbenefit from our “push in” programs where we work with an entire class to helpstudents master socialization skills.

While all of our programs are invaluable—coming intochildren’s lives and giving them the social emotional tools they need to bettertheir education—I have to admit the small group sessions are my favorite! Our Boys Group and Girls Group providestudents with a safe space to discuss issues that girls and boys face inschool, at home, and in the community. Depending on the group dynamic, theGirls Group might focus more on body image or self-esteem, while the Boys Groupmay focus more on health and hygiene or personal achievement. The content ofthe groups often overlap, but we find the discussions to be more successful byseparating the boys and girls, providing a safer, more honest space.

The other two groups that we’ve created for our olderstudents (4^th and 5^th graders) help incorporate some careerskills too! Partnership with Children’s NewspaperGroup allows students, with the assistance of the group facilitators, tocreate a regularly published newspaper. Students participate in all aspects ofthe production, including writing, contributing ideas for content, editing,layout and distribution. Students learn to work efficiently in small groups,build literacy and writing skills, develop leadership skills and of course havea record of their achievement though school and home distribution of theirpaper.

Similarly, the SchoolBookstore Group teaches students the skills to run a successful business,helping students develop and cultivate skills in entrepreneurship, moneymanagement, citizenship and leadership. Over time, the job skills and serviceof the students running the bookstore, as well as the students and school staffthat purchase items at the bookstore, contribute to an overall positive schoolcommunity.

All four groups help to successfully address social,emotional and behavioral issues, making students more ready to learn, but theyeach achieve this in such unique ways. I’m so excited to meet the students asthey come into these groups and witness their progress over the year. Not onlyare we providing students with the skills they need to achieve more in theclassroom, but we’re also providing valuable life skills that can help themsucceed far beyond the school room.

Welcoming Everyone Back!

2011-09-13T17:44:00.000-04:00

It’s SO great to be back in school, and amazingly the kids feel the same way! “Partnership!” yelled some of our students from last year as they greeted us. They were so excited to say hello and tell us about their summers. One student, as he showed off his brand new sneakers, pleaded to be back in the program again this year, “I had so much fun last year and learned a lot, but I still need help!”

We’ve got our room all set up and are ready to roll. Now it’s a matter of selecting which classrooms we’ll go into and which students we will work with in small groups. The real fun starts in early October when we officially meet our kids and start our small group and in class programs, but right now we’re busy reviewing open cases from last year, to see which students we should continue working with and meeting with the school guidance counselor and teachers to select new students. Once our lists are complete, we need to meet with parents to get their consent.

Friday we're planning to host our annual breakfast. It’s such a fun event and really gives us time to speak with everyone in the school—from the principal and teachers to even the janitors. The breakfast is a social event with an educational twist. We want to get to know the school staff and they get to know us, but more importantly, we want to let them know why we’re there and how much we can help. It’s incredibly important that we all work as a team in order to provide the best possible support for our students and the entire school. We need to work seamlessly, hand in hand, in order to succeed.

Bringing Something New Into the Classroom

2011-09-07T10:56:00.000-04:00

I have butterflies in my stomach—I almost feel like I’m going back to school to learn too. Being at the same school for multiple years gives me an advantage and insight I would never have walking into a new school. Last summer, I sat down and talked with the Principal about what this school really needs. She expressed concern about socialization skills, particularly among the kindergarten and first grade students. Kindergarten teachers would come to her in tears, asking for psych evaluations of their students. Rather than sitting quietly and coloring, students threw crayons around the room. Students would fight and chairs would be thrown. The classrooms were chaotic and the kids just wouldn’t listen.

Of course, there is nothing psychologically wrong with these kids, they just don’t know any better. Five and six year olds with troubled family lives, never having toys of their own, do not know how to share or respect authority. These are skills that many of us learn at an early age, sometimes before we can even walk or talk, but with an unstable family life or sometimes no consistent authority figure, what may be second nature to many of us, doesn’t exist for children growing up in poverty.

After learning of the new challenges at my school, I was THRILLED to go back to my team and develop a new curriculum, focusing on socialization skills. The curriculum has been developed for all grades K-12, but we put a lot of focus on the younger grades, knowing mastering these skills can make the greatest impact on these kids’ lives.

I can’t wait for tomorrow. I’m excited to meet the kids and hit the ground running with what we can achieve together, but I’m most excited about this new socialization curriculum plan. Kids need to master socialization skills in order to be ready to learn in school and in turn, make the classroom conducive to learning.

Another School Year Ahead

2011-08-30T14:14:00.001-04:00

Just one more week and it starts again—I’m excited and nervous all at the same time about the new school year. My life as a social worker is filled with challenges, successes, failures and the overwhelming desire to make a difference in children’s lives. Even if I only reach one child this year, that’s one child who has found a better outlook on life, new skills to help him achieve and a better chance at success.

This is my fourth year as a Social Worker Supervisor with Partnership with Children and my third year in this same school. Every year starts out the same with kids entering the classrooms, discussing their summers with old friends and meeting new classmates, but each year always develops a little differently. I hope for the best, that we can really reach these students and impact their lives, but in truth you never really know what will happen until the year ends. My yearly goals never change—improving school attendance numbers, helping students achieve socially, emotionally and academically and keeping parents engaged in their children’s lives.

The weeks leading up to the new school year are very busy. Each year I work with my team (usually another social worker and a few interns) and the school’s principal to determine which students are most in need and how we can best support these students. Our approach is multifaceted—we work in classrooms, with small groups and with individual students. The principal will usually choose 3-4 classes with the highest need that we will work with once a week, selecting a curriculum that will best meet their needs. We also operate 4-5 small groups which focus on topics such as peer mediation, bereavement, boys only, girls only, etc. These groups are generally mixed in grade levels and students are pulled out of their regular classes once a week to participate. For students most in need, we will work with them on an individual basis, assigning them to either a social worker or intern. All in all, we work with approximately 180 students, grades K-5th, just in this one school.

Once the students are identified we need to contact their parents for consent, which gets tricky sometimes. Some families don’t have internet or even phones, making personal visits the method of choice. There are also language barriers and other family challenges. It’s our job to make sure these parents fully understand our role in the schools and make sure their children are getting the best possible support.

The most fun of all is decorating the Partnership with Children classroom! We make sure we have supplies, signs are hung and the room is warm, bright and inviting. We’re excited to meet a new group of students, get to know their personalities, home life and struggles and figure out how we can fit in and help them achieve success. Let the new school year begin!

Barriers to Attendance

2011-04-11T10:26:00.004-04:00

When you think of your high school days you may remember the excitement of freshman year and even better, the thrill of knowing that you’ll soon be attending college. But for a lot of adolescents in New York City high school brings a whole new level of complexity and stress even before they start their freshman year.

In eighth grade students apply to as many as 12 high schools they would like to attend out of the hundreds that exist in New York City. The city’s high schools have different focuses (technology, arts, etc.) and differing levels of academic requirements (some are highly selective according to exam scores, grades, etc). Given the diversity of options students need a lot of guidance in determining which schools will make the best fit for them. What I have seen often in working with inner-city high school students is that they did not apply to schools which are the best fit according to their interests, academic standing, and/or location; they may have applied to certain schools for the wrong reasons (i.e., the schools their friends applied to); and in some cases they were not accepted into any of the schools that they chose. It’s key for parents to guide their children’s selection of high schools and to be knowledgeable about what schools will be best fit in terms of academics, focus, and location. And, of course, students' grades and attendance rates in middle school play a crucial role in determining which high schools they can attend.

From my experience working with high school students, the daily commute is one of the biggest “barriers to attendance”. Some of our students travel up to two hours each way to school every day. The commute is exhausting and unsafe in neighborhoods that are desolate during early morning hours, and when combined with other issues like being forced to look after siblings, being bullied, and health problems, it dissuades students from attending school. The more school such students miss the more disengaged they become from their education. It’s a slippery slope that all too often leads them to being held back and dropping out from school altogether.

Part of my job is to find ways to get students motivated to come to school despite the hardships they face. I do this by engaging students in activities they show interest in and by building a sense of positive community through our small counseling groups, which provide students with a safe environment where they can share about the issues in their personal lives. The groups also help make school a place where students feel they are listened to and supported. For other students just knowing that Partnership with Children social workers are aware if they have shown up for school or not helps them feel cared for and acknowledged. These seemingly small measures go a long way in motivating high school students to come to school and to do their best.

These are just a few of the factors contributing to the complexity of attending high school in New York City. In my next post I’ll write about helping our students understand the system of earning academic credits and how credits impact their standing in school and potential to graduate in four years.

Creativity, Expression and Trust

2011-03-21T10:12:00.001-04:00

Last week was full of great surprises. In our newly formed Art Group the students worked on a project in which they created visual representations of islands. The challenge given to the students was to draw and collage images of islands. Working in groups of three they had to determine what items were necessary to survive on their islands, what items they would want to leave behind on the islands, and then draw or collage images of those items. In some ways their work was very literal. For example they included images of money and explained that they’ll need money to buy food and pay rent. On the other hand they also thought of the islands as surreal utopias where no one would ever grow old.

As an experiment we played mellow R&B music during part of the session to discover what impact it would have on the students’ creativity. Rather than distracting them the music had a calming effect. The students seemed to go into their own internal, creative worlds and focused on creating their islands rather than conversing with each other about off-topic subjects like school gossip. The use of music actually leads into our next session which will be focused on the impact of music on ones emotions and how it can subsequently shape the type of art work one creates.

I also sat in on the Young Men’s Group and came away inspired by the sense of respect the students have for one another and how they let their guards down and shared their emotions during the session. I saw a dramatic change from the students' behavior in school, where they are very concerned about being perceived as weak and put on a tough persona with their peers. The topic the students were discussing which was put forward by the social worker who leads the group, was healthy relationships.

Many of the students have single mothers and spoke about the abusive relationships their mothers had with their fathers and how this impacted them as children witnessing domestic violence. A couple of the older students are fathers themselves, and spoke about their struggle to manage the responsibilities of school, part-time jobs, and fatherhood. I was so impressed with the students openness and truly happy to see that they’ve created a safe space to talk with each other and share about their personal struggles in and outside of school.

Art as Expression

2011-02-15T13:41:00.000-05:00

We started Partnership with Children's first Art Group! The process of making objects and images is, I hope, going to excite our students and get them re-engaged in school. We've got 10 kids signed up, all of whom have low attendance. Each session will include a little art history, and then will focus on an art-making activity that weaves in social and emotional skills like team-work, problem-solving, and respecting others' opinions.

In the first session we did our standard introductions and ice-breaker activities so everyone could get to know one another and start building a sense of trust. The next session, called “On an Island”, should be really interesting because the students will have to imagine they are stranded on islands! Working in groups of 2 or 3, they will have to think about what they need to survive on their islands. Then they have to create a drawing of the island and all of the items they have decided they need to live. Since they are working in teams the students have to listen to each others ideas, which can be a real struggle for teenagers. It will definitely be interesting to see what they come up with and how they learn to work together to complete their "islands"!

The next session we’re going to explore how music impacts emotions. We’ll play different genres of music and have the students draw and paint to explore how the music shapes the type of art work they create. We’re hoping this activity helps the students delve more into the various emotions they experience and how to express those emotions in a positive way.

Can’t wait to see what the students create!

Speaking at the Summit!

2011-01-26T17:02:00.001-05:00

I’m proud to share that two of our students were chosen to speak at a recent summit organized by Mayor Bloomberg's inter-agency task force to combat chronic absenteeism! The students spoke honestly about the reasons behind their low attendance in the past – from lack of interest in school to personal issues in their homes. The reason they were chosen to speak however was to highlight the instrumental role their mentors are playing in raising their attendance and achievement.

One student, a high school freshman, shared that her mentor is someone who gives her hope by helping her manage the challenging social and academic transition from middle to high school, by developing an action plan to raise her grades, and by simply checking in on her each day. For the first time in this student’s life she feels confident in her ability to achieve!

The other student, a junior, spoke about his mentor as someone he can relate to and trust, who empowers him to succeed in school, and who is always there to speak to, in and outside of school. As the student said his relationship with his mentor makes him feel the confidence that “If he can do it, I can do it”.

While the two students represented different personal circumstances both compelled the audience with their vision and sense of hope for their future, which they attributed to the positive relationships they have with their mentors. It is so rewarding to know that our mentors are making a difference in students’ lives!

Holiday Cheer

2010-12-30T14:08:00.011-05:00

What a fantastic holiday season at Partnership with Children!

Every December we collect gifts and warm clothing for our neediest families. This year we received an over abundance of gifts for every age group. Through the TODAY Show’s Charitable Gift Drive we received gifts from Hasbro and Gymboree among others, as well as from companies that ran their own drives including New York Life, Bloomberg and Prudential. We had little space left in our office with all the boxes and bags of toys and clothing stacked up everywhere, but we still managed to squeeze in teams of volunteers from Bloomberg, Starwood Hotels, High Water Women, and other individuals to wrap up the gifts before we delivered them to the families.

Despite all the lifting, lugging, and stacking involved in the gift drive, at the end of the days it's incredible to involve other New Yorkers in helping Partnership with Children's students.

Site Visit

2010-11-22T13:21:00.002-05:00

Great news! We jumped from 40% attendance in September to 90% attendance in October. All of our efforts are paying off. We also had a fantastic visit from a potential board member. Following the protocol for our “site visits” he came with our Directors and met our staff and a group of our students. It was surprising and wonderful to witness the students opening up to someone they had never met before. During the conversation our Associate Executive Director asked the kids why they had previously skipped school. One student answered that he felt bad about his low grades in school and rather than confronting his negative feelings about his performance in class, he choose to skip school altogether. His answer was so self-reflective and honest for a young adolescent! The potential board member also spoke about his previous struggles in school, and the students really responded to his openness.

Most of all I think what allowed the students to share so freely during the site visit is the fact that they have such an honest and caring rapport with me and my team of social workers. The students know we care about their well-being and attendance and that we want to know about any issues that impact them emotionally. One student even said during the site visit “I have never had people care about me, about my life, and how I am doing in school before Partnership with Children.”

Training, Observing, and Believing

2010-11-09T09:56:00.000-05:00

The majority of my time at present is divided between training my interns (who are all in the first semester of their social work master's programs) and working with school leaders to collaborate on driving attendance rates up among chronically absent students. I want to instill in my social work interns a belief that people can change, because from my viewpoint you need this belief to be a motivated, effective social worker. Since I trained as a community organizer as well as a social worker I also know that observing neighborhoods can offer a lot of information about the different economic and social needs of communities. So I want to have my interns also start using this approach, by observing the specific culture of our school and the Lower East Side, as well as the students' family dynamics. It is still early in the school year and I am new to the Lower East Side, but I can see already the key factors impacting our students: poverty, lack of parental involvement, parentifying of children (a situation in which children and youth take on the role of caregivers), and teenage pregnancy.

On another note we had several students achieve 100% attendance in October! We created certificates acknowledging their attendance which will be awarded to the students at a school-wide assembly. These seemingly small efforts go a long way in improving students self-confidence and belief in the value of education.

Putting an End to Bullying

2010-10-07T16:56:00.000-04:00

This week was the start of national Bullying Awareness month. The media is filled with stories about recent tragic cases in which children, teens and even a college student have taken their lives as a result of bullying. I want to write a little about it because bullying is an issue that comes up again and again in my work. From my viewpoint if unaddressed bullying can have a far-reaching impact on a person’s life.

In my peer mediation/conflict resolution counseling group we help kids work on controlling their anger and avoiding conflicts and of course bullying comes up a lot in this dialogue.

Just last week I was called into a class for a crisis intervention which ended up relating to bullying. A female student slapped another student and I was brought in to speak with her individually to find out her side of the story. The first thing she said was “Miss, I can’t help it. I was born like this.”

"No one is just born like this. Something must have happened beforehand,” I said to her. She started sobbing. Through the sobs she told me how the girl she had hit bullied her relentlessly throughout middle school and now that they were in high school she had to be tough and “fight back”. I let her know how much I respected her for telling me about the bullying because I knew it was difficult to speak about. I’m actually already planning to counsel this student to get her attendance up, but we’ll also speak about bulling since I can see now this is something that is impacting her behavior and most likely was a cause of her low attendance and subsequently her poor academic performance too.

This just goes to show how bullying can impact a person if unaddressed. A victim can act out in a violent incident, become a bully herself or get so depressed she takes her life. I think we’ve got to teach kids to have more empathy for each other and a sense of responsibility for their behavior in order stop bullying and no longer look at it as a normal part of growing up.

Every Student. Every Day.

2010-09-15T14:21:00.028-04:00

Last Wednesday I felt like a freshman, tense and excited, as I started work at a high school on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. The principal is new, charismatic and happy to have Partnership with Children working in the school. The main objective of my work and the reason the agency is in the school is to raise attendance levels as part of a broader initiative by Mayor Bloomberg called “Every Student. Every Day.” It is no wonder the Mayor is resolute to raise attendance levels. Nearly 20 percent of all New York City school students missed one month of school or more last year. Research shows that three out of four students who are severely or chronically absent in the sixth grade never graduate from high school. (Read about "Every Student. Every Day.")

You might wonder why a school in the Lower East Side would be chosen for the attendance initiative. The neighborhood to some is a beacon of gentrification with its condos, boutiques and wine bars. But there are still pockets of poverty, drugs, gang activity, and family discord which reflect that area’s grittier past. It is the population effected by such issues that makes up my school's student body and community.

Absenteeism rates are highest in low-income neighborhoods. Disregard for education is a deeply entrenched problem in such poor, urban areas and one that carries over from generation to generation. Parents who had bad experiences in school (often the same schools their children are later enrolled in) transfer to their children their own mistrust of education, along with a belief that graduating high school and college is not necessary for personal growth. While adolescents are loathe to admit it they often reflect their parents values. I was not surprised then to find myself, the very first day of school, on the phone calling parents to track down missing students. As a social worker I hope I can help break this cycle of hopelessness that renders school irrelevant for so many youth.

From Truant to Scholar: A Great Success Story!

2010-06-22T10:32:00.003-04:00

I love hearing student success stories from my colleagues, and I just had to share this particular one with you! It shows how when Partnership with Children steps into a struggling child's life, we can help that young person transform and succeed. Enjoy!

Kevin: A Success Story
Disrupting classes and skipping school were daily occurrences for Kevin as a repeating seventh grade student in the Bronx. He was angry for having been held back and took his anger out on his teachers by behaving disrespectfully to them. He also got into serious physical fights outside of school. Kevin was on track to fail seventh grade for a second time when Partnership with Children entered into his life.

Partnership with Children's social worker started counseling Kevin and enabled him to reflect on how his decisions impacted his life. As part of this process Kevin acknowledged that his choice of friends played a critical role in his negative behavior and poor academic performance. As he started building trust for his social worker, he also revealed that he aspired to become a processional basketball player. Using this aspiration as a means to motivate Kevin, his social worker developed a plan that re-focused Kevin on academics and encouraged him to seek out more positive peers. As an incentive, Kevin was allowed to participate in an after-school sports program, contingent on his academic performance.

Kevin's grades and attendance improved dramatically as a result. Mid-way through the school year he was promoted to eighth grade, and he is now graduating with the rest of the eighth grade class in June. Adding to this great accomplishment is the wonderful news that Kevin has received scholarship offers from two private high schools to join their basketball teams and pursue his academic studies. Congratulations Kevin!

Transitions

2010-06-15T13:12:00.009-04:00

Graduation is right around the corner. For some of my kids graduating means success, completion, celebration and achievement. For others it represents fear, loss and anxiety.

What they all share in common however is leaving the comfort zone of a school they attended for several years with a supportive team of Partnership with Children social workers. Many of New York City’s high schools are large - much larger than our middle school. The social environment at high schools, especially in tough neighborhoods, can also be intimidating. Big classes and limited support from guidance counselors who are stretched thin serving hundreds of kids do not make the transition to high school any easier.

As with so many situations I face as a social worker, there are limitations on how much I can help the children I work with. I can’t walk them through the process of entering high school. Instead I have to prepare them with skills and knowledge. My role is to teach them how to cope with the challenges of entering a new school. What exactly does it mean to transition successfully into a new school? It means making new friends who have a positive influence on you, staying away from those students who are negative leaders, avoiding fights, and of course focusing academically. These may be high expectations for adolescents growing up in tough neighborhoods with tumultuous personal lives, but by showing them I hold these expectations of them I am also expressing that I have confidence in them to meet the challenge.

The truth is that transitions are not any easier for adults. While I am busy prepping my kids to graduate and enter new schools, I also have to ready myself to let go of them. Even after years as a social worker I still have a difficult time resolving the attachment I build for my students. Will I continue to think about them? Yes, definitely. But I have to compartmentalize in order to survive emotionally in my profession and understand and accept the limitations that go along with the incredible rewards of my work.

Loss & Absence

2010-05-18T16:58:00.006-04:00

Jose’s mother passed away last weekend. Outwardly he’s coping well but I know he’s a time-bomb. Jose hasn’t expressed his emotions about the loss of his mother yet, but I can speculate that they include a potent mix of abandonment, anger, relief, anxiety, and a sense of being lost in the world.

My greatest fear is that when Jose does finally release his pent up emotions he’ll do so in an explosion of angry outbursts that will land him in trouble at school or even with the law. The fact that the school year is nearly over compounds my fears. As long as Jose is in school, I know I can work with him and help him through the grieving process. Once he graduates however, (which I expect he will despite his suspensions), I will have less control over how much time I can spend with him.

Adding to my concerns about Jose was a disappointing series of events with Michael following my breakthrough conversation with him ahead of the State Math exams. We met for a tutoring session to help prepare Michael for the exam, but both walked away feeling frustrated. I realized Michael was too far behind in his math skills to pass, and that I was ill-equipped to tutor him. Michael’s low tolerance for feeling frustration did not help matters. I ended up coaching him more on test-taking techniques than on math. The tutoring session clearly did not help Michael the way I hoped it would. After skipping school the day of the exam, he showed up for the make-up test but left after only ten minutes. He has not been back to school since. The hardest part of this situation is that Michael is not technically part of Partnership with Children’s program. My hope is that he will start coming to school again so I can reach out to him and find out more about what his plans are for the future.

A Simple Equation

2010-05-05T10:21:00.004-04:00

Despite all the counseling, outreach, curricula development and trainings I do as a social worker, sometimes it is an unplanned moment that allows me to make the best breakthrough with a troubled child. That is exactly what happened last week with Michael, a 15 year old student in my school. I don’t know a lot about him, nor do any other staff or administrators at our school. What we do know is that he missed over half of the last school year, and his parents are totally unresponsive to outreach. However, I have had a feeling since I first met Michael that behind his seemingly intractable outer shell, he is intelligent, vulnerable and kind. I got a chance to validate my intuition about him last week.

On Monday the State English Language Arts exams were administered citywide and Michael took his in Partnership with Children’s class room. He finished early, but had to stay in the room until the period was over. He started asking me about the tattoos on my arms. It wasn’t the first time - he has been interested in my tattoos since he started at the school, probably because he has a large one of his own, also on his arm. I told him about the meaning of mine, and then asked about his. As I suspected he got his done by a non-professional in the projects where he lives. Needless to say I encouraged him to be safe and warned about the dangers of using unclean needles.

I brought the conversation back to school by asking if he was nervous for the upcoming State math exam. What he said next struck me as a metaphor for his life, though he didn’t realize it. “I hate math” he said. “Why’s that?” I asked. “Because, you can do everything right, and then if you do one part wrong, the whole thing turns out to be wrong. Then your teacher thinks you’re stupid. I’m not stupid," he answered. “And I hate my math teacher.” His statements reflect his life experiences. He can try to be good and to do well in school, but he feels if he slips up and makes a mistake, he will automatically be labeled as being a bad kid, lazy and unintelligent by the adults in his life.

I told him I could relate to his feelings because I also disliked math when I was in school. “But,” I told him, “I never let my teachers win. I asked other people to help me, and ended up doing pretty good in class.” By using the terms of winning and losing I knew I would appeal to his ego. I also revealed to him that even I, an adult and “teacher”, could be vulnerable too.

But the best part of the day came later: after classes were released, Michael came back to Partnership’s room and knocked on the door. I opened it, and Michael asked “Do you think you could help me with my math?” I don’t know if I was surprised in that moment – I think it was more that I was overwhelmed by a sense of success. I had made a breakthrough with Michael. You have to see that in the context of Michael’s life, to open up even a little bit to an adult, no less a “teacher” like me, takes a lot of courage, and to then ask for help takes even more. He’s showing that he needs someone else, that he is not the tough, self-reliant street kid he makes himself out to be. I can’t orchestrate these moments, but I live for them.

Turning Point

2010-04-23T15:42:00.001-04:00

This week marked a turning point for Jose. He made a conscious decision to steer himself away from conflict. The scenario that provoked him wasn’t unusual: he came to school and another student “started with him”. For many inner-city school children fighting is a means of boosting their self-confidence. They are often told at home or at school that they are not good, not smart, not hard working. By winning fights, they get respect. Parents also expect their children to win fights – and punish them verbally and physically if they lose.

In this social context, for Jose to avoid a fight was huge. He also sought out my staff for help. Together we came up with a plan to have Jose “shadow” his favorite teacher as a means to avoid any potential conflicts with his peers. He spent the day helping the teacher in between classes and ate lunch with him. It was amazing to witness Jose consciously avoid a fight, especially since he is struggling emotionally with the reality of his mother’s terminal illness.

Simultaneously to being happy about Jose’s growing self-control, I am deeply concerned about ensuring he is left in custody of a responsible adult when his mother passes away, which could happen any day. As of now, there is no written paperwork that I know of that would give guardianship of Jose to his aunt, who he lives with, or to any other responsible person. The worst case scenario is that Jose will end up in foster care. You may have read the recent New York Times article with its dismal statistics on foster care children

"Study Finds More Woes Following Foster Care":

Even though Partnership with Children places social workers in schools, our work extends far beyond the school building. My staff and I have not been able to get Jose’s mother to respond to us when doing home visits or calling – in fact, we have never spoken to her at all. The only information we get about her comes through Jose, which leaves a lot unknown. The next step will be to visit her in the hospital. Given her rapidly declining health and the fact that we have just over two months left in the school year, I am working as fast as I can to resolve Jose’s custody issue.

For Some, a Tenacious Grip to a Safety Net. For Others, a Steep Fall through the Cracks.

2010-04-07T17:05:00.002-04:00

One aspect of Jose’s return to our class that I worried about was his relationship with another student, Michael. Michael’s own behavioral issues touched a nerve with Jose, and provoked him to fall back on his old “street” behavior.

Michael missed a year and a half of school before joining our class in the fall, and is clearly a high-risk student. He returned to class last week at the same time as Jose, after an out-of-school suspension. Within 30 minutes of returning to school, he had an altercation with the Dean. He was suspended but returned to the school the next day instead of reporting to his suspension site.

According to the law, once a student enters the school building, the school administrators can not force him to leave without a parent signing him out. In Michael’s case, there was no parent to reach during the day, so he remained in school. He then got into a physical fight with a student, and while attempting to break up the fight, the Dean was hit in the head.

Long story short, he will not be returning to our school for the rest of the year.
The reason we, or the school for that matter, were unable to help Michael is that the systems set up to provide students with services require documentation of past behavior. Unfortunately because Michael was not in the school system for the last year and a half, and there is no paper work that shows he has behavioral problems, there was no way for us to push for a faster evaluation. We were restricted to waiting and watching so to speak.

Michael’s situation is a good example of what can happen to students when they fall through the cracks and don't get the services they need. Sadly this scenario plays out over and over again in schools across the city. My soul would be crushed if I thought about this reality too much. Instead, I focus on my school, and on the difference I can make.

Working up the Employment Totem Poll

2010-03-24T15:52:00.001-04:00

Someone asked me recently why our kids are so excited to apply to NYC’s Summer Youth Employment Program, even though they have only a slim chance of getting placed in a job. Frankly, the prospect of earning money and being able to shop excites them!

We’re making the process of applying for the jobs challenging. Sometimes in the past, because we wanted the kids to succeed so badly, I think we did too much for them. Example: the kids need to fill out application forms for the employment program. Formerly we would have downloaded and printed out the forms for them. Instead, this year we told the students that they need to find the forms on line, and print and fill them out on their own. We also made our mock interviews tough by purposely having the interviewers (teachers), be abrupt or even curt with the students. The kids have to learn how to behave professionally even when confronted with someone who is impolite. Easier said than done, right?

Then, we also tossed out the idea that, if they do land a summer job, it may involve doing sanitation or other unappealing work. They immediately said “No way, I won’t do that!” The students already have an idea of where they want to stand on the employment “totem poll”. But we drove home the point that they have to start somewhere and work their way up.

My fingers are crossed that at least one student will land a job, and be a role model for the rest.

Summer Jobs 101

2010-03-16T17:09:00.001-04:00

Jose finally returned from his suspension last week. I am relieved and tense at the same time. It is of course good to have him back in school so we can keep working with him, but I worry that every day provides a fresh opportunity for him to act out and end up suspended yet again. This may be the first time I have felt such a level of tension about a certain student, but I know it’s because Jose holds so much potential. We put in a lot of effort creating a “re-entry” plan for Jose to help him transition back into school. My hope is that he can quickly fall back into step with the rest of the class.

On another note, I don’t want to ignore all the positive developments happening with the rest of my class! At the moment they are diligently completing their applications for NYC’s Summer Youth Employment program. We also did mock job interviews. It’s a huge development for this group to even think about having careers and to take steps towards that goal. One caveat is that the city uses a lottery-based system to place kids in jobs, so there are no guarantees. BUT, despite knowing this the students are still really determined and enthusiastic about landing their first paying jobs!

Comeback Kid?

2010-02-19T16:53:00.000-05:00

That’s what I am hoping Jose will be…the kind of person who rebounds and doesn’t look back, just when everyone is ready to give up on him. Jose, despite his intelligence and desire to go to college, over the past few months landed himself with one suspension after another.

What happened to our self-proclaimed 2010 valedictorian? Three major events in his life de-railed him. (I say that with the caveat that he is responsible for his actions, and he knows when he is doing something that will lead to a suspension, arrest, or worse.)

First, his mother, with whom he has a problematic relationship, came back into his life after a long stint in the hospital. Second, he was not allowed to join our group on the trip to Philadelphia – the sole motivating factor that kept him working hard through his first suspension. And, third, a new student entered our class and challenged Jose’s social authority, specifically his “street” credibility (read: toughness, masculinity, street-smarts).

The crazy thing is, Jose is still getting almost all A’s on his school work and hands all his work in on time! Even though his actions warrant suspensions, all the school leaders and staff truly like him. If he wasn’t so charismatic and smart, this might not be the case.

Right now what Jose needs is a new, attainable goal, a target he can reach: becoming valedictorian is out of the question. I need something else to hook him and give him some perspective. I’m still mulling over ideas for just what that “hook” should be…

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

2010-01-22T16:49:00.001-05:00

Jose came back to school after his arrest, but quickly started behaving disrespectfully to teachers. Long story short, he was suspended again, and sent to another Alternative Learning Center.

I probably don’t need to say how frustrating the situation is. Jose is smart. He knows what he needs to do to succeed. But he has pent up anger that he is not willing to control yet, and it manifests itself in his belligerence with teachers and school leaders. He knows that his behavior is setting him back. He wants to succeed, but he keeps making the wrong decisions.

But, let me move on to more positive news. Our group is doing great and is very enthusiastic about the Job Readiness curriculum. I think part of their enthusiasm is due to the fact that they are learning real life skills like money management. They can see the purpose in what they are learning, and feel empowered by their new skills.

We also have a new group of students taking a Law and Government course at the local High School, and they love it so far.

A Downward Spiral

2010-01-06T16:35:00.002-05:00

Here is my latest update on Jose. I wish I had better news to share.

The morning of our trip to Philly, the school leaders surprised me by not allowing Jose to join us. He was crushed. He worked hard through his entire suspension just to be able to go on to Philly and stay a part of our group. He felt betrayed by the school leaders, and ended up flipping over desks in an emotional outburst, and declaring “I’m through with this school!”

As Jose’s social worker, I understood the context of his extreme reaction and the anger he felt. This is a kid who is on the brink of failure in school and isolation from mainstream society. Success in school is truly his key to a better life. He made some missteps this year, but, remained focused academically. To be, in his view, betrayed despite his efforts, was too much to bear emotionally.

Jose’s world is also tied indelibly to the streets. He has had exposure to gangs, and according to their “rules”, betraying the gang results in being killed. It’s a purely black and white scenario, with no room for moderation. Once a person betrays you, he no longer exists in your world. In that vein, the school was “dead” to Jose.

What he did next however was not something I would have predicted. The weekend following his outburst at school, he and a friend robbed a man and were arrested. Jose's actions signified a rebellious disavowal of everything school stands for and a lack of hope for his future.

I ask myself if I could have done more. I don’t know the answer. I am his social worker but not his parent or guardian, and those are the people he really needs to help make the right decisions for him, especially when he is outside of school.

I’ve obviously scaled back my expectations for Jose, but, I have not written him off. My focus now is on getting him back into school and into our group, and to try to rebuild his trust for the school leaders, myself and my team of social workers.

Reverting, Re-entering, Progressing

2009-12-17T14:12:00.000-05:00

I’m worried – but still hopeful – about Jose. His in-school suspension turned into an out-of school suspension after he got into a fight with another student who was distracting him while he was trying to do his school work. There are two ways I view what happened. On the one hand, that Jose would actually be focusing on doing school work after getting suspended is a total 360 from last year. On the other hand, he reverted to his old behavior by letting the situation with the other student escalate into a physical fight.

Students on out-of-school suspensions are sent to Alternative Learning Centers (ALC). In Jose’s case he had a seven day suspension at an ALC. I worried a lot about him during this time, specifically that the ALC environment might provoke him to revert even further to his old aggressive and erratic behavior. While some ALCs are well managed and orderly, (and Partnership with Children works in several of these), others are mayhem. Unfortunately, Jose was in a more chaotic ALC.

The situation at the ALC was out of my control however. As a social worker I sometimes find myself in a circumstance where I have to accept that I can not control the situation or make it better in the future. In this case, I knew all I could do was plan to make Jose’s re-entry to our school smooth and to make sure he did not have any lingering anger issues from the suspension.

Bottom line, I want to see Jose succeed. We provide a supportive environment in our PACE group (for students that have been held back), but Jose has to eventually learn to handle himself without our support. Maybe I was swayed by the impressive advances he’s made in class and with his peers, and I lost sight of the fact that he is still a teenager working through his emotions and learning to control his behavior. How much can I expect him to grow in just a few months? I have to continue to praise and support him but also check my expectations.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

2009-11-25T15:00:00.004-05:00

Jose, our self-proclaimed valedictorian, who has shown so much growth this year, academically and emotionally, got suspended this week. He got a 5 day in-school suspension for being rude to a teacher and walking out of school. At first I was shocked, but I knew he would stumble at some point.

When I walked into the suspension room, or Accountability Studio as they call it, he was in the corner doing work. Normally suspended students run amok in the Studio, so, to see him working quietly in the corner showed me that he realizes he made a mistake, and he doesn’t want to fall behind in school.

This past week I dealt with more crisis than usual overall, and I think it has to do with the Thanksgiving holiday. For a lot of the children we work with, the holidays bring up all the tension, insecurity and anger they try to suppress. The holidays are stressful for kids in broken homes, living in poverty, or dealing with any types of issues with their families. This week that a lot of kids were on edge emotionally – even the smallest event could set them off. One girl had her hair pulled and ended up weeping in our office for an hour. On any regular weekday, she would have gotten over the situation a lot faster and with less emotion.

I also noticed this week that Jose was wearing a button of his uncle who was in a Puerto Rican motorcycle gang, and was killed. He used to wear the button last year, but stopped since September. I’m not sure why Jose started wearing it again this week, but I think perhaps it’s because of the holiday. He’s still not living with his mother, and this family-centered holiday must be difficult for him. His uncle is a male role model –albeit a negative one – and maybe he needs the thought of a male figure to help him get through the holidays without his mom, or dad.

Report Card

2009-11-20T14:12:00.005-05:00

A quick and exciting update! I just found out that Jose got a 94% overall on his report card! At this time last year his average was probably about 65-70%! He's feeling pretty proud right about now. In fact, he already has his heart set on being the school valedictorian.

I'm including a photo here from our recent after-school trip to the International Center of Photography. We paired up our kids with volunteers from Transatlantic Reinsurance, and took part in a digital photo program about self-portraiture. The kids loved it, and, even got to take home prints of their photos.

A Moving Success Story

2009-11-20T14:06:00.002-05:00

I want to share this great success story from one of my colleagues working on Staten Island. I'm inspired to hear about the great job my co-workers are doing. We're making an impact, one child, one school, one borough at a time!

Carol, a shy twelve-year old student, and her family were living in extreme poverty. They had several recent immigrants from their village in Mexico staying in their small, basement level home on Staten Island. Her family lacked basic household items like clocks, and there was no structure and healthy boundaries in their relationships with one another. Carol was often made the scapegoat for the family’s problems. Her mother suspected that Carol was stealing some of the few possessions and food items they had at home. She forced Carol to take on parental responsibilities not appropriate for her age, including making her stay home from school for a month to watch over their guests to prevent theft, and to walk her younger siblings to school. Carol struggled socially and academically as a result of these issues.

A Partnership with Children social worker started meeting with Carol and put together an action plan to improve her school attendance and situation at home. She bought an alarm clock for Carol and helped her reorganize her morning routine. Our social worker also called Carol’s home each day to make sure she would attend school, and made frequent home visits to assess changes in the family’s relationships. She also helped Carol’s family by referring them to local food pantries.

Simultaneously she provided Carol with individual counseling to help strengthen Carol’s self-esteem. Before long, the shy young girl who lacked confidence started to reveal her more bubbly, extroverted side. She smiled and greeted Partnership with Children staff as she showed up to school, and was proud of her academic achievements. Carol’s grades improved, her attendance increased, and she developed positive relationships with her peers and family.

That Triangle Thing

2009-11-04T15:56:00.003-05:00

Food, water, air. These are the basics people need to survive. Then comes shelter and a means of income, then family and friends, and finally at the stage of self-actualization, we experience creativity, morality, and an ability to problem-solve. At least, this is according to The Hierarchy of Needs, a basic outline of what motivates humans to fulfill their needs, created by psychologist Abraham Maslow in 1943. All social workers and psychology students learn about the "hierarchy".

In my job readiness class this week, I asked my students what they think they will need in order to succeed in life. While I wanted them to think about the basics, like paying rent and buying food, I wasn't thinking specifically about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. So, when Jose responded, "Do you mean that triangle thing?", I was speechless. I realized quickly what Jose was referring to. He had obviously learned about the Hierarchy of Needs in his high school psychology class. What shocked me for a moment was that he retained information from one class, and correlated it to the subject matter in another. This may not seem impressive, but in the context of Jose's life, and the fact that he failed the last school year, it's a clear indicator that he is making tremendous strides academically and personally.

Had we not created the overage kids class, and if we were not giving Jose individualized counseling and positive reinforcement, he would not be learning about basic psychology principals let alone thinking ahead to how he can achieve in a career and support himself financially. For me, Jose's reference to "that triangle thing" was one of those small moments that proves that social workers are conduits for change.

Stress

2009-10-28T16:20:00.002-04:00

You think Wall Street’s CEOs are under stress these days? Our kids start suffering from stress in early childhood, whether or not there is an economic downturn. The emotional pressure from stress builds in them over the years, compressing any emotional space they have for happiness and filling them instead with anxiety and anger.

Popular culture would have you believe childhood is carefree, filled with joy, free time to play with friends, and the comfort of having a stable home with two parents who love you unconditionally. That is the image presented by media: it is not the reality for many youth.

For the kids I serve as a Partnership with Children social worker, stress is an everyday emotion. It is the underlying emotion that provokes other pervasive feelings I help my kids cope with, like anger, depression and fear. What is causing all of this stress among inner-city children? I see a lot of it as being tied to poverty and the associated effects of poverty: living in low-income, dangerous neighborhoods; being itinerant or even homeless; having bad diets and sleep habits; experiencing parental discord and/or living in single parent homes; and other issues like substance abuse and gang violence.

Imagine trying to navigate your way through all of these issues as a young child. It is no wonder my kids show up to school already at the breaking point. The smallest things can set them off, like having a teacher who reminds them of a parent who they have lost or an adult who harmed them. Many of my kids also do not have relationships with their fathers - or, their fathers have been killed or incarcerated - and they are teased relentlessly by other students because of this. Their reactions are predictable: angry outbursts, physical fights, or skipping school altogether.

I feel I’m painting an overwhelmingly despondent and hopeless picture of life for poor, urban youth. But, to tie back into my first blog post, one of the most powerful things I have learned as a social worker is that children have an incredible ability to rebound from emotional and social trauma. In fact, I think they are much better at overcoming trauma than adults.

This is why you can see a young man like Jose go from nearly failing out of school to becoming a positive school leader, responsible young adult, innovative thinker and dedicated student. In fact, he even came up with the name for our Job Readiness group this year, and the name was so good none of the students voted for their own suggestions – everyone knew his was the best: Scholars on the Rise. And rising they are, to the task and challenges presented to them in school, in society, and in life.

A Baseline of Trust

2009-10-20T15:20:00.000-04:00

You’re looking into the face of a thirteen year old girl. She’s avoiding making eye contact and is staring at the floor with her arms crossed. She failed the last school year, and is now repeating eighth grade. Last week, her older brother was shot in a gang fight. She started skipping classes again, and is on probation. If you don’t intercede, she will most likely drop out of school.

It is just the two of you in the counseling session. How do you create a baseline of trust so that she’ll open up to you? This is a typical scenario that my social worker interns will face in their first one-on-one counseling sessions. Creating trust with our students - or “clients” as we refer to them - is the main objective in the first session.

The kids we work with have tumultuous lives and few people they feel they can trust. How do you connect with a child or adolescent who is experiencing severe emotional turmoil due issues like poverty, neglect, violence and/or is the victim of drug and alcohol abuse at home?

It sounds strange, but, it’s the small things that work best. For instance, always be on time for meetings you set up with a student. If you’re late, our kids will discredit you immediately. You said you would do something, and you didn’t do it, and now you are crossed off their list of people they will respect and open up to.

Then, there are trust-building games. I trained my social workers in this one called The Feeling/Talking/Doing Game. Sounds corny but, it sets up a framework for both the social worker and the child to talk about their feelings and experiences in different types of situations. The students are given 10 tokens to start off with, and those tokens can be used to buy items in the school bookstore or for snacks. There is a stack of cards and a board. Each card states something you must either say or do. For instance, a card could say “name a time when you felt frustrated”, or “sing your favorite song”. Essentially the actions are meant to put the children a little bit outside of their comfort zone in order to get them to start opening up emotionally.

Of course, they have the right not to do whatever is requested on the card they pick up. But, if they refuse, they lose one of their 10 tokens. It is up to them, but the incentive is obviously there for them to participate. The game helps social workers identify students’ vocabulary of feelings. Students may only be able to identify a few basic ones, like anger, happiness, and sadness. Throughout the game, the social workers try to discover the feelings that children most commonly experience. But we also help them develop an understanding of many others types of emotions, like ambivalence, exhaustion, contentedness, etc. Students may never have heard of these types of emotions before, so we are helping them to understand themselves and their many different emotions in a more complex way.

In turn, the social workers can use game-playing as an opportunity to find ways to relate back to the child, to show that they have shared certain experiences and feelings. After, I regroup with the interns and we talk about the feelings that the students identified. If they are seeing that certain students are predominantly feeling anger for example, then we devise means for working on anger management with the student. And, with our kids, anger is the predominant emotion.